Every time I remembered the coming deadlines I switched gear: I couldn't change anything about it even if I wanted to...
My own decision was holding me back —and the wifi on the camping place was nothing but lousy, so I dropped the thoughts and enjoyed the good things of life instead.
First day back at work was plain awful. Facing the fact you can't always deliver what you promised is hard and not easy and definitely not how I would like to be. Remembering the research in the book I was reading I decided to not focus on those feelings it brought and not focus on my mind who was leaving me alone, not being able to focus and perform well. I decided to be thankful for the great weather, the nice weekend we had and thought about how to bring back the joy of doing my work. Oh my —it was some hard work to refocus!
Letting go is a skill that needs to be practiced and somehow never get's easy. It helped me through the first two days of this week and I can say now that I actually feel sparkles of joy, passion and fun return to what I am doing. I wrote in my last article I was excited about what the journey will bring me, well it appears not to be all roses. I have not been too excited for a few days, but also knew that numbness was the result of a tired mind, just like my body was tired. Knowing my mind it will probably take some time to get rested well. But that's okay: I am happy with the journey I am on and since I am still travelling there must be greener pastures ahead and great mountains to climb.
The climbing might be tough, but the greater the joy of reaching the top and enjoying the view from up there!
I thought it to be nothing but honest to share my struggle too after sharing the about the great effects of working less in my last article... ;-)